Why Is It So Hard For Moms To Take Care Of Themselves?

This is a question that has been circling around in my brain for quite some time. I definitely do it as well, and don’t have all the answers, but I am interested to hear all of your thoughts on the topic as well. 

Recently, there has been a big push on for self-care. While I don’t disagree that mom’s indeed do need to look after themselves, I fear that the push for self-care is yet another item added to the already never ending “to-do” list. When mom’s feel like they aren’t doing a “good enough” job with self- care it becomes a source of guilt and stress. Self-'care has also been sold as these bigger or more extravagant things that require a lot of time, energy or planning around your family. Things like going to the spa, booking a massage, getting your nails done, girl’s night out, you get the drift.

I prefer to think of self-care as little do-able things that become part of your routine, much like brushing your teeth, so that they do not become yet another thing to add to your to-do list. I think of my nightly routine of washing my face, and putting on creams before bed as self-care, and it is something that is easily accessible for me to do on most nights.

I do not consider things that are part of basic hygiene, like taking a shower, to be self-care. Mom’s deserve showers as a right! Not a treat.

So where did all of this come from? Did the mom’s who came before us have an easier time taking care of themselves? How did the pioneer women do it? They had to help run farms, grow all their food, cook everything from scratch, do laundry by hand. What did their self-care look like? Is it the lack of community now that is really impacting moms in particular?

Is it that moms are out of energy by the time that they take care of everyone else, there is no gas left in the tank for themselves?


As I said, more questions than answers this week. I would love to know what you think! Please post in the comments below.


Dr Alexis


Dr Alexis practices online via telemedicine and is currently accepting new patients. Click here to book your appointment


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